this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize