it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
