come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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