Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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