Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
