three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
