I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
