Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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