YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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