I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
