Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
