If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize