mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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