wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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