Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
vagina is talking i cant
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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