It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
