After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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