I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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