I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
