um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
