don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize