I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
