i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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