just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
