so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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