do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
