i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
