apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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