is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
