I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
