All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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