was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
