I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
