Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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