I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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