just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
