Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
