I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
