Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
