Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
