I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
