Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
