It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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