just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize