I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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