I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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