stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
