At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize