He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
