We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize