you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
