I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
