you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
