Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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