I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
