Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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