so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
