Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
