My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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