i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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