goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
