Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My liver just broke up with me...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Randomize
