i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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